What makes the permanence here so interesting is both the terrifying nature of it and the fact that of course you want it to be permanent - for the rest of your days, specifically. Like a mix of "so.... this is forever?" mixed with "God, I hope this is forever".
And man, there's such a hard mix of just absolutely having no idea what we're getting into and the fact that there's just almost no way to prepare for it. All the advice I was given was useless, AND there was almost no way for any of it to be helpful anyway. On some of my worst nights I thought, "how was I supposed to get ready for THIS". But posts like this are helpful, you've given a realistic look at what being a new dad is like, actually!
Like, no one tells you that the first time you change your baby's poopy diaper filled with sticky meconium (you hit the nail on the head with your description) you will be so shaky from all of the labor, lack of sleep, and the fact that your responsible for keeping this human that you just met alive forever, that you will barely be able to get your baby re-strapped in their diaper.
I appreciate your vulnerability here. I remember night two or three at home, our baby hadn't peed in 10 hours and I looked at Dr. Google and saw that could be a problem. Baby also wasn't really eating, and I was just so worried that I was going to do something wrong and hurt my baby that I just broke down on the couch. It all hit at once, like you said - who I used to be felt dead, and I was in the middle of embracing this brand new life and this brand new me and it was a lot to deal with.
It's so much better now, but I think a lot about the advice I would give myself 6 months. I hope I don't give any future dad the piss-poor advice I got!
Thanks for sharing your experience - I really feel like I was right there with you in those first days! There's so many things that we end up having to look out for in those first few weeks: the number of dirty nappies, how many feeds they have, how long they nap for. Trouble is, we only find out we have to keep an eye on all this stuff after the baby arrives, and even then we only get told what's ideal. When anything deviates from that prescribed norm, we feel like something's awfully wrong when in fact it's probably nothing to worry about.
What makes the permanence here so interesting is both the terrifying nature of it and the fact that of course you want it to be permanent - for the rest of your days, specifically. Like a mix of "so.... this is forever?" mixed with "God, I hope this is forever".
And man, there's such a hard mix of just absolutely having no idea what we're getting into and the fact that there's just almost no way to prepare for it. All the advice I was given was useless, AND there was almost no way for any of it to be helpful anyway. On some of my worst nights I thought, "how was I supposed to get ready for THIS". But posts like this are helpful, you've given a realistic look at what being a new dad is like, actually!
Like, no one tells you that the first time you change your baby's poopy diaper filled with sticky meconium (you hit the nail on the head with your description) you will be so shaky from all of the labor, lack of sleep, and the fact that your responsible for keeping this human that you just met alive forever, that you will barely be able to get your baby re-strapped in their diaper.
I appreciate your vulnerability here. I remember night two or three at home, our baby hadn't peed in 10 hours and I looked at Dr. Google and saw that could be a problem. Baby also wasn't really eating, and I was just so worried that I was going to do something wrong and hurt my baby that I just broke down on the couch. It all hit at once, like you said - who I used to be felt dead, and I was in the middle of embracing this brand new life and this brand new me and it was a lot to deal with.
It's so much better now, but I think a lot about the advice I would give myself 6 months. I hope I don't give any future dad the piss-poor advice I got!
Thanks for sharing your experience - I really feel like I was right there with you in those first days! There's so many things that we end up having to look out for in those first few weeks: the number of dirty nappies, how many feeds they have, how long they nap for. Trouble is, we only find out we have to keep an eye on all this stuff after the baby arrives, and even then we only get told what's ideal. When anything deviates from that prescribed norm, we feel like something's awfully wrong when in fact it's probably nothing to worry about.
Glad to hear that things are better now!